Interpersonal #3 : Women Playing Hard to Get

This essay is specifically geared towards the idea of heterosexual women playing hard to get in first world countries. 

Let's say something has inherent value to begin with.  Like food.  Everyone needs food.  The less food there is, the more valuable each existing morsel becomes.

More Rarity = More Value

If you are a woman in a first world country, you can easily make yourself even more valuable by playing hard to get.  And no, I don't mean giving men the cold shoulder, or nagging them to change, or ignoring them completely.  That is not playing hard to get.

Playing hard to get means you let a man pursue you.  You turn the whole thing into a quest that is bursting with positive tension and anticipation.  You give a man just enough to keep him passionate, but at the same time you don't give him so much that he becomes satiated.  You display some small level of interest in a man after he displays interest in you.  Give him a mountain to climb.  

I know this might seem painfully antiquated, but it works.  Maybe this guy is your dream guy, or maybe he's someone you just want to go on 1 date with, or maybe he's somewhere in between, but regardless, the entire situation will be so much more satisfying, for both of you, if you make him work for it.  The situation becomes more of an adventure and less of a trip to the grocery store.           

The more effort you have to put into something, the sweeter it feels when all that work finally pays off.  I can type terms into a search engine and almost instantly learn the answer to my question... so who cares?  I have been finding answers on the internet for so long that I just take it for granted now, even though this whole instantaneous database thing is absolutely incredible.  It's a part of my day to day life, and I don't have to do anything special to make it happen, so I don't really put that much value on it.  How can I?

So don't immediately agree to go on that date with a guy when he asks you out.

Tell him you might be busy and you'll have to let him know.  

And then wait until he contacts you about it again.

And then after you receive that 2nd message, wait 2 hours before you tell him "Yeah, that sounds good."

And then, 12 hours before your scheduled date, ask if he can reschedule to the next day.

And then meet him the next day, but show up 10 minutes late.  If you show up 20 minutes late I would dare say you are taking things too far!  Let's not get crazy here. 

End this first date a little too early instead of a little too late.  Think up an excuse ahead of time and then spring it on him out of the blue after you've been hanging out for something between 90 and 120 minutes.  Offer something plausible.  You have to help someone study.  You have to help a family member with their taxes.  Whatever.  Leave him wanting more.

You do not need to wax off your pubic hair.  You are a furry tigress.  You do not need to feel insecure about the fact that your vagina bleeds every month.  That blood creates life.  [You might even want to consider experimenting with free bleeding.]        

If this guy asked you out, and then you immediately said, "Oh my God I am so glad you asked me out I have been fantasizing about you for the past 6 months!" ...you would be giving your power away.  The whole situation is more intense and satisfying for both of you if the woman makes it into more of a journey.  No matter how much you like a guy, and no matter how excited you are that he asked you out, don't let him or anyone else know that.  Keep that your little secret.   

Don't make the first overt move to kiss him, and definitely don't make the first move to have sex.  The first time he tries to unbutton your pants or pull off your shirt, stop him.  It will make him want you more.  During a moment like this, you can let him know that you are sexually attracted to him while still making it clear that you aren't ready to go all the way.

On the surface it might sound great to instantly get what you want, especially in the sex department, but if a guy was actually met with an endless string of fast women, he'd get bored.  You can't fully appreciate something that falls into your lap all the time.

A sunny day means less to people who live in San Diego. 
   
If any random person was allowed to compete in the Olympics, it would become meaningless.  The reason the Olympics mean so much is because you have to work so hard to get there.  

I know there are probably some women that would find this whole idea to be a step backward, but I am a big believer in it.  I believe this style of doing things becomes even more important the longer the relationship goes on.  If your man thinks he can have you whenever he wants you no matter what, he won't appreciate you as much.  He just won't.  It's impossible.  No matter how long the relationship has been going on, the woman can infuse so much passion into it by continuing to play hard to get.  Your man should need to win you over more than once in a lifetime.  

But remember, there is a point at which the person chasing must get some payoff for their effort if they are going to continue this journey to the next stage.  Otherwise, what would be the point?  Playing hard to get has to actually lead to something, or else you are just a tease. 

Also, you should only play hard to get with men you are actually interested in.  Don't be the "Oops I did it again" girl that leads everybody on.

Side Note: If you are still in high school, don't have intercourse.  It's not even close to being worth it.  Especially for the girl.

It would most likely go like this for you: The guy ejaculates in less than 5 minutes, but the girl doesn't even get to have an orgasm because the guy didn't put any thought into actually turning her on and instead just started pumping away.  And then maybe you've got a pregnancy on your hands.  Or the guy ruins your reputation by talking all over school about how hard he banged you and how wild you were in bed.

No thanks.